Christmas Entertainment, Part II

And for all zero of you who have been waiting for the follow up to the Christmas movie post-- Voila, a post about televised Christmas specials.  Looking at the release dates, it is hard to believe that all six of the programs were created in a ten-year span.  What makes these extra special is that they were not just part of The Dude's and my childhood, but part of our parents' childhoods as well. 

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964)

Perhaps the most remarkable thing about this special is that almost everyone in the North Pole is a giant d-bag.  Rudolph's parents are ashamed of his nose and try to disguise it.  When the other reindeer kids find out about Rudolph's difference, they mercilessly make fun of him.  And who leads them in the taunting?  The coach/teacher.  (Bonus-- my uncle does an excellent impression of Coach Comet.)  Even Santa is prejudiced against poor Rudolph and his shnoz.  And Santa's horrible bias against individuals who don't fit the mold isn't just directed at Rudolph.  He's banished a whole population of toys to an island where they sing about their loneliness and lack of purpose. (The Dude and I spent years trying to figure out what the problem was with the doll on the Island of Misfit Toys.  We decided she had mental issues.  What a strange topic of conversation for little kids at Christmas.)  There are a few good guys in this story though-- Rudolph's lady friend Clarice, Hermey the elf (who is himself persecuted for his interest in dentistry), and my favorite, Yukon Cornelius.  Every Christmas-celebrating American has watched the heck out of this special.  Even though the intolerance that runs through this program doesn't hold up very well, we know the words to every song and we know that Bumbles bounce.  My mum bought me a full set of Rudolph ornaments when I was in college and they really mean a lot to me.  Every year when I unpack them, I think of Christmas, childhood, and my mother-- three of my favorite things. 

A Charlie Brown Christmas (1965)

For some reason, this show about an unpopular depressed kid with an over-sized head and a love for Christmas has always spoken to me.  When the spotlight shines down on Linus and he explains the true meaning of Christmas by reciting the nativity story from the Bible, this heathen is a Catholic again for 30 seconds.  It is a Christmas miracle.  As is the tradition, this Christmas special features a bunch of jerks being jerky to the protagonist.  Of course they come around in the end when they revive Charlie Brown's pitiful tree and sing him a Christmas carol.  Vince Guaraldi's music for A Charlie Brown Christmas is phenomenal and makes me so happy that I listen to it all year.  When you add in the visual of the Peanuts dancing to the music. . . perfection.

How the Grinch Stole Christmas! (1966)

As much as I love Dr. Seuss's story, Boris Karloff's narration, the catchy songs, and the cheery colors, I used to struggle with this special because I felt so bad for the Grinch's dog Max.  I don't know why I was so focused on him when I've already mentioned the shabby treatment that Rudolph and Charlie Brown received.  Okay, I do know-- every year when Max makes the treacherous run through the mountains to reach Whoville and then makes the trip in reverse hauling all of the Whos' loot-- I mean he clearly almost dies, right?  As an adult I have managed to quell my anxiety about Max's fate and just enjoy this wonderful special.  It is truly a favorite.  (I will not speak of the Jim Carrey Grinch abomination.  To me, that movie does not exist.)

Frosty the Snowman (1969)

In the early '80s, my mother recorded the audio of Frosty onto a cassette tape for me and The Dude to enjoy.  By the late '80s we had a VCR and she created the world's greatest VHS tape, featuring every Christmas special on this list, as well as A Garfield Christmas and Christmas episodes from TGIF programming.  (The "Perfect Strangers" episode stands out in my mind.)  So with all of the effort that she put into our holiday programming, it is no small wonder that I am obsessed to this day.  Anyhow, that audio recording of Frosty started it all, so even though it isn't one of my very favorite programs, it holds a special place in my heart.  The villain in this show is a magician named Professor Hinkle.  He's creepy as heck and he is essentially trying to kill Frosty by taking back his magic hat, but his delivery of "Messy messy messy" always makes me and The Dude laugh when we quote it.  After being chased around for half an hour, Professor Hinkle locks Frosty in a greenhouse where he melts/dies.  Santa finds Karen weeping over his puddle corpse.  Fortunately he magics Frosty back to life and the show doesn't conclude with a snowman funeral.  Happy holidays!

Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town (1970)

This special was always The Dude's favorite.  Perhaps his love for this show secretly motivated him to turn into Kris Kringle.  It is narrated by a Fred Astair mailman puppet, so with our dad's job as a letter carrier, we had that added connection to the material.  It features the same stop-motion animation that was used in Rudolph, and adds in puppet choreography when the Winter Warlock and Santa dance to "One Foot In Front of the Other."  The Burgermeister is the bad guy in this special.  He busts into homes, steals children's toys, and makes them watch as he burns them.  Apparently the casual bullying of earlier specials just wasn't enough, so Rankin-Bass upped the ante.  One awesome thing about this special is that when Santa comes to town to bring the children new toys, he performs a song with the lyrics, "If you sit on my lap today, a kiss a toy is the price you'll pay."  I noticed a few years back that this song wasn't included on the soundtrack.  I wonder if the exclusion has anything to do with the fact that the song is a pedophile anthem.

And for The Dude, who has always loved this exchange and still giggles when he utilizes the Kringle brother voice.
Dingle: Wiggle my ears and tickle my toes, methinks I see a baby's nose! It's more than a nose. There's a whole baby attached to it. Better call my brothers! Wingle! Bingle! Tingle! Zingle!
Zingle : What is it, Dingle?
Wingle : It's a baby, Zingle.
Tingle : A baby what, Wingle?
Bingle : A baby baby, Tingle.
Dingle : I like babies, Bingle.
Bingle : Our baby's the best baby of them all, Wingle.

'Twas the Night Before Christmas (1974)

 

And last but not least, my favorite.  (Sometimes tied with Charlie Brown.)  This is probably the least known of the six specials on my list, but it is outstanding.  Albert the boy genius mouse writes an editorial to the newspaper stating that Santa Claus is not real.  Santa's ego can't take the hit, so he crosses Sombertown off his list of Christmas Eve destinations.  Papa Mouse shows his son Albert the sadness his letter has caused, bringing him to a children's hospital where the sick kids are extra depressed now that Santa has written them off.  You have to ask yourself, is the little mouse boy really the villain or could it be an incredibly thin-skinned Santa?  Anyhow, the human family that shares a home with the mice includes a clock-maker father who invents and builds a clock that will suck up to Santa with a song at midnight on Christmas Eve.  I absolutely love this special and the songs in it, especially "Even A Miracle Needs a Hand."